IamA guard at a woman's max security prison, AMA!

how many inmates are 'gay for the stay' ?

I suspect a lot. A good number of women have girlfriends on the inside and then when they're out they move in with boyfriends/husbands.

if there's no 'lesbian shower sex' stories then i'm not interested

It happens, but if you're thinking it's a giant lesbian orgy like in Orange is the New Black then you're going to be disappointed.

how realistic is orange is the new black in your experience?

It is unrealistic to the point that I literally scoffed out loud a few times in the first episode and wasn't able to enjoy it. I suppose I can liken it to computer scientists having a visceral reaction to those horribly unrealistic computer hacking scenes on TV.

computer scientists having a visceral reaction to those horribly unrealistic computer hacking scenes on TV.

I'll have you know I create VB GUIs to hack government databases and backtrace criminal IPs all the time.

And I know that unplugging the monitor stops a hack.

what was the part you scoffed at?

The lesbian shower sex and the blatant sexual abuse between offender and offender and offender and CO.

You mean like this?

That's exactly what I was referring to.

Don't know much about the clink, but one thing that strikes me about orange is that it feels like a college dormitory more than a prison. I realize it makes drama easier but c'mon.

There are some prisons that are "dormitory" style, and others that are your more typical prisons.

With you being a male, have there ever been any instances of inmates trying to sexually assault you? Or can they if they tried? with that being a maximum security prison and all.

"Sexually assault" is quite aggressive, I have been propositioned more times than I care to count. It has been a huge problem for this particular facility however. Back just a few years ago our chief of security was discovered to have been having sex with offenders in his private office. He got 10 years for that, 5 suspended. Since we opened (fairly new prison) we have had I believe 17 male officers get fired for having "carnal knowledge" with an offender. In my state, offenders cannot consent so it is considered rape actually. If an offender propositions us we are supposed to write a "charge" which is basically a reprimand that can carry a vast range of penalties.

Regardless of the strict rules, have you ever felt attracted to any of the inmates?

I've managed to disconnect those kinds of feelings while I'm on the job. But to answer your questions, there are a few very attractive offenders.

[deleted]

I'm sure subconsciously I have but I think I've gotten to the point when I can be objective in nearly every situation.

Whats the most popular contraband item?

Makeup items. We allow them a pretty liberal selection of makeup items in the commissary but all the time we see things like extreme shades of eyeshadow being smuggled in. It's quite idiotic because they aren't allowed to wear any crazy colors like orange, green, yellow, etc. so if they were to wear them we'd know something was up and find the contraband to confiscate it. They are willing to get punished just for an hour or so of putting on their favorite makeup.

We allow them a pretty liberal selection of makeup items in the commissary but all the time we see things like extreme shades of eyeshadow being smuggled in. It's quite idiotic because they aren't allowed to wear any crazy colors like orange, green, yellow, etc.

Why is this?

I honestly couldn't tell you. I think it just has something to do with trying to be conservative in what we allow them to do/wear without taking away all their rights, identity as women, and humanity altogether.

I've heard that women's prisons are particularly ruthless, especially compared to men's. Is there any truth to this in your experience?

Also, any good stories you feel like telling?

Sorry, I forgot to tell a story to you!

This was before my time:

There was an offender being transported to the hospital at 1 AM because she had swallowed some floor-stripper. The officers took her to the nearest hospital but they were flooded with patients from a nearby church who had had a potluck dinner and gotten very nasty food-poisoning from it so the officers had to take her to another hospital. 1/2 and hour after they went to a different hospital a man strides in and asks which room the offender was in. The nurse thought it was suspicious and called some sheriff's deputies who came to question him. They searched his car and found a loaded shotgun in it with a lot of shells. He confessed that he was planning on breaking her out of the hospital and killing anyone in his way with the shotgun if need be. She had wrote him a letter telling him that she was going to be at the hospital at this date and time by swallowing some floor stripper and he agreed to come and get her.

Wait, did he go to the second hospital where she was being treated? Or to the first one?

He went to the first one, unbeknownst to him she had been transferred to a different hospital and she had no way of telling him.

I thought inmates letters are intercepted and read?

We open them, but when you have 800+ letters coming in per day you can't read all of them. We open them, inspect them for contraband, and quickly scan over them to make sure there's nothing glaring in the content.

It depends on your definition of "ruthless".

In a physical sense, no. It's much more calm since we started adopting the philosophy of rehabilitation instead of punishment many years ago. However, it can be emotionally ruthless for the offenders because as you know women tend to be more emotional. If we break up an offender from her "boo" (put her in a different housing unit, send her home, or transfer her) that has the potential to be a devastating blow to either one or both of them. Honestly 90% of the fights/conflicts we have between offenders is dealing with relationships. That's not to say that we have a lot of fights but the vast majority of the ones we do involve some sort of relationship. That can be ruthless for the offenders.

Also, any good stories you feel like telling?

I'll come back to that one later.

1. Do you feel any of the women in there are actually innocent?

2. Are you friendly with any? Are there some that just terrify you? I don't mean friendly in a "hey baby" type way, just naturally friendly.

3. How do you wind down after a particularly trying day? reading? Gym?

4. Thanks for doing this AMAA

Do you feel any of the women in there are actually innocent?

I don't know. I try to not learn too much about their cases because you look at people who did horrific crimes differently.

Are you friendly with any? Are there some that just terrify you? I don't mean friendly in a "hey baby" type way, just naturally friendly.

"Friendly"? Well, I can keep the conversation light and "friendly" I suppose. Fraternizing with an offender is a fire-able offense but nobody can really point to a solid definition of "fraternizing". The rule of thumb is that if you have to question whether or not you can/should say something to an offender, ask a supervisor before you say it.

How do you wind down after a particularly trying day? reading? Gym?

I work nights so I have the ability to just immediately crash and sleep with I get home at 7AM and that usually makes me feel better. I do try to exercise regularly and see some old friends from college whenever I can.

Thanks for doing this AMAA

My pleasure!

What does your facility do specifically to focus on rehabilitation over punishment?

Back in 03 (I believe) we adopted a new mantra, "A Healing Environment" is what we called our organization. We stopped allowing offenders to just sit in their cells all day (unless they were in isolation or segregation) and they are required to do some form of work, whether that be in the tailor shop or earning their GEDs. Warren Buffet's sister gave all prisons in our state a huge monetary donation to pay for offenders to get their business degrees and that has been a great thing. The archaic way of thinking is "lock 'em up and throw away the key" or believe that prison should be about punishment instead of doing meaningful things. Those two lines of thinking simply do not work. Once we started giving people a purpose, our recidivism rates as well as instances of violence within the prison walls plummeted within 5 years. As mentioned before, we started to offer GED classes as well as business degree classes. In addition to those two things we have programs for the offenders to earn their cosmetology licenses (and they do a great job too. I can get a 20$ haircut for 5$ from them. Female staff can get their hair highlighted/dyed, cut, or bleached for $20 instead of $100+ they would pay on the outside), wood shop, HVAC certifications, making glasses, etc. We used to let them sit in their cell all day and when it was time to leave we gave them $25 and a bus ticket to anywhere in the state, pushed them out the door and said "Good luck!". They had no skills to earn money to feed themselves so they'd commit a crime and end up back in prison. An interesting tidbit is that we have two offenders with 9 murders between them that make braille books for blind students in my state and they are the hardest workers. They feel good about themselves because even though they know they are never going to get out, they know that they have a purpose and are doing some good in the world despite their past.

Wow, I don't think I'd ever be brave enough to let any of them cut my hair! I can't believe they can be given something sharp and then use that sharp object near your throat! Maybe they use like those scissors you give little kids? I'm sure the women that are allowed to do that are people that you're sure aren't violent but still...don't think I'd be brave enough to try it!

I thought the same thing! But they are carefully selected and know that if they mess up there will be severe sanctions. They do an excellent job because if they don't prove they can do it, they won't get their licenses.

Just some food for thought, but their crimes may not be violent in nature... or if they were, it was very likely directed at a specific person for personal reasons. You, as a paying customer giving them valuable work experience, are probably no more at risk than you are at any other hair salon.

Violent offenders are not allowed to cut hair. I suppose I should have clarified this earlier.

This is probably the best summary on my view of some of the problems in our prisons. If I may, how did you figure out some of this if you're not allowed to fraternize with them?

What specifically are you asking how do I know?

Sorry for the bad phrasing. How do you find improved feelings of self and purpose in them? I guess the 'no-fraternizing' has me kinda confused, so is it from what they tell you, or do they have feed back forms, or are there evals they fill out?

I hope that makes sense.

How do you find improved feelings of self and purpose in them?

Statistically, everyone seemed a bit happier. As I said, recidivism and violent crime within the prison itself plummeted soon after we started a different approach. Most people need to have some sort of purpose in their life, and we gave them that purpose. As small as it may sound, people were feeling good about themselves by cutting other people's hair, mowing the lawn and making it look nice and neat, or making books for students with learning disabilities. They could go to bed that night knowing that they did something worthwhile, as insignificant as it sounds to us.

So, Considering all the shit that is said about shower rape in male prisons, Does the equivalent happen in female prisons ?

Not a pervert, just wondering if it is the same for both genders

Yes, it does still happen. Sexual favors for protection, favors, food...etc. all of those are considered rape. Less common (but still happening) are forcible penetration by objects and that is rape too as far as we are concerned.

How does it happen though? Don't prisons just have cameras everywhere to avoid that sort of thing? Or maybe even guards patrolling everywhere?

We catch them in the act all the time. They do it, but they rarely get away with it.

Just how frequently is "all the time?"

Several times a month

hey there OP, * What are the rules on ear rings? or any jewelry for that matter. (if they are not allowed do inmates make their own?) * Any rules on vibrators? * Do you take in pregnant women? if so how do you handle things? * Do you provide Midol for inmates on their period? anyone ever throw a tampon at you?

What are the rules on ear rings? or any jewelry for that matter.

1 small stud for each ear, 1 bracelet and 1 ring total.

Any rules on vibrators?

There are no sex toys allowed.

Do you take in pregnant women? if so how do you handle things?

Yes we do. I'm actually not sure what we do with them, we haven't had one come in since I started work.

Do you provide Midol for inmates on their period?

They can buy them at the commissary.

anyone ever throw a tampon at you?

Thank Christ, no. Ew.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but why exactly are vibrators not allowed? Is it their potential for use as a weapon?

We don't want the offenders masturbating because that would increase the chances of officers walking in on them during the self-pleasuring, which would look very bad. Plus we don't want to see that.

I know people who worked as doctors and pharmacists in women prisons. They said pregnant women would purposely get arrested and go to prison during the last months of pregnancy so they can get a birth for no cost. Ever experience things like this?

I have yet to experience a pregnant offender come through. It sounds completely plausible though.

OP, I once applied to be a corrections officer at a county jail but I failed a test. In brief: It was a video test where they played short skits and I judged on my reaction to the video (I was supposed to pretend it was real and act accordingly). The fourth skit involved a guy leaning against the wall while I searched him. The sonofabitch kept saying, "oh baby, that feels good, that's nice, baby, keep doing that." I wasn't expecting that, so I just kept searching him and didn't say anything. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that was the skit that I ended up failing. But I've always wondered what the hell was I supposed to do?

If an offender makes any sexual comments towards you, you're supposed to stop and write them a "charge" as we call it. I don't understand how they expected you to know that though...

What are some of the most horrific crimes committed by the women you've worked with?

The most horrific is a mentally ill woman who threw her newborn off of a bridge and watched him drown and then she just simply walked away.

Another is a 14 year old girl who chopped up her mom with an ax and hid the pieces in a wood pile for insurance money.

Both of these women don't seem to be criminals, they seem outright insane. How are they not in a mental care facility?

I'm not sure. Safe to say, they are in our mental housing unit and not in general population.

Is mental illness prevalent in your facility? Are inmates with mental health issues generally ignored, or are they given treatment? If given treatment, what does that include (meds, therapy, etc.) and is it effective? Any personal experience with an inmate experiencing psychosis or inconsolable?

Thanks!

Yes, mental illness is quite prevalent in prison populations. We have an entire building (300 offenders) dedicated to housing mentally ill patients. They are not ignored, this seems to be a myth that is prevalent about correctional centers, that we just lock them in a cage and forget about them. We have 3 prison psychologists who act as mental health counselors. In addition to that, they run therapy programs and prescribe medications. As a matter of effectiveness, it is very hit or miss. They have to want to change, and those programs/meds are simply the tools that they can use to change but ultimately it's their decision, much like out in the free world. The cases of psychosis that we do have are usually not extreme except for one lady I can think of. She wrote a few letters threatening to kill President Obama because she believed that he was personally spying on her and claimed that he had come to visit her in her cell one night. She then proceeded to cover her cell in poop because she believed that the smell would keep him away.

Have you ever gotten the chance to work in the mental illness building? And unrelated to mental illness: what's the most rewarding part of your job for you in your opinion?

Have you ever gotten the chance to work in the mental illness building?

Only a handful of times. It's awful because I know what most of them did to get incarcerated and they tend to have the most horrific crimes. I have a hard time dealing with them humanely. That's not to say I'd ever abuse them, but rather it's difficult to look at them as "people who just made a mistake" and to be courteous to them like we're supposed to.

And unrelated to mental illness: what's the most rewarding part of your job for you in your opinion?

The most rewarding part is feeling like you are being conducive to our mission as "A healing environment" as we like to call it. We are protecting the public, but we are also protecting the offenders and making sure that they will be rehabilitated when they leave. Everyone they interact with on the inside contributes to that goal, especially the staff so when we feel like we are helping offenders "get better" it makes us feel good. We have had many instances of offenders getting out and then writing back to the prison and thanking us for helping her heal and they'll often times cite specific officers that helped them the most.

Whats the population of a cell or block, and is there problems with gangs, or general cliques as compared to male facilities?

[removed]

Seems like she is still dangerous and should be considered to be so. That's like having a gun in prison but promising not to use it.

[removed]

That boggles the mind:) Do they ever tell you who these people are? I'm not sure I would even want to know.

No, it is strictly confidential. Only a handful of people know.

What is a story you'd like to tell?

Dark: We have had 1 suicide "success" in our years of operations. Offender Smith (Made up name, a mentally ill lady) was "dating" Offender Jones who then got transfered to our re-entry program (6 months until they get out). Offender Jones then started to "date" another offender in the re-entry program and Smith did not know about that. Offender Jones and the other lady got out and started a full blown relationship, and Smith got a letter from Jones telling her it was over because she had met someone else. Smith cut her wrists with a razor blade but decided that that wasn't fast enough so she just hanged herself. She only had 2 more years of her sentence.

Funny: We had a fight in the chow hall between two black offenders. We all rushed in and broke it up but the two offenders were still struggling. One officer, a white woman, was trying to help restrain one of the offenders and another officer accidentally handcuffed one of the offender's arms to the officer's arm. The officer who did the handcuffing didn't "miss", he legitimately thought he was handcuffing the two arms of an offender together. It was hilarious to see one black arm handcuffed to a white arm and it just goes to show you that sometimes you don't think straight in the heat of the moment.

My girlfriend has started working at a prison nearby and says that the COs don't take kindly to being called "guards" and much prefer Corrections Officer or Officer. Do you have a preference?

Whenever someone asks me what I do, I just say "prison guard". The word "prison" being thrown into the wording really grabs people's attention. I have honestly not had 1 person's eyes not get really big/have their jaw drop when I tell them I'm a prison guard. It's more rustic and makes me sound more BA than I actually am.

Any street cred you got from saying "prison guard" was nullified by typing BA instead of Bad Ass.

See? My point firmly stands.

How and why did you choose that kind of work?

Are cucumbers banned?

How and why did you choose that kind of work?

This is really just a stepping stone onto bigger and better things (Federal jobs). This was a very easy job to get for a number of reasons. 1) I have a college degree (most of my coworkers don't). 2) They were severely short-staffed and were eager to hire a lot of folks.

Are cucumbers banned?

No, but we don't give them large phallic items to take back to their cells. We have found home made dildos though.

Made of what exactly?

Cloth, newspapers, printer paper...

Thanks for volunteering your time to do this!

I've always wondered.. does the illusive "Big Bertha" actually exist?

There's a couple women in there that scare me....one in particular everyone calls her John Boy because she's so enormous and masculine.

What is the weirdest thing you have seen?

Care to share any stories?

I can share a gross story with you that definitely qualifies as one of the stranger things I've seen.

We have a team of officers on the Strike Force, which is the people who go and remove offenders from their cells if they refuse to come out. They get all geared up in riot gear with a shield that has an electrified metal bar on the front of it. A mentally ill offender decided she didn't want to go to chow (we legally have to feed them 3 meals a day and we could have gotten in huge trouble if we just let her skip a meal) and didn't come out. Strike Force suited up and stacked up by her door. She was curled up on her bed, which was on the far side of the room. The 5 officers who were about to enter must have had tunnel vision and didn't bother to look at the floor through the window because the cell door was popped and they all rushed in but started slipping and sliding everywhere. On the floor was a mixture of body oil, menstrual blood, and poop. The lead officer with the shield tried to stop but was being pushed by the other 4 forward so he crashed into the wall and they more or less collapsed into a heap next to her bed but quickly got up and snatched her.

Hi! I am interested in being a corrections officer at a prison and was hoping to ask a couple of questions. :)

• Did you need any sort of degree to obtain this career? (I am currently in the midst of getting a criminology degree)
• Is there a type of test, or fitness test you need to complete? (I am slightly overweight and want to know if I should start getting into better shape)
• If there's something about your job I should be warned about, what would it be? (I am female)

Did you need any sort of degree to obtain this career? (I am currently in the midst of getting a criminology degree)

A degree is not required! I have a BA in Homeland Security and Strategic Intelligence. The backgrounds of our officers vary greatly. We have people who worked at gas stations/fast food restaurants for years and years, we have a couple ladies who have their nursing licenses but decided to change it up, there's one girl who is working on her PhD right now. Many of my coworkers do not have degrees. When it comes to promotions, if you have a degree you will be considered first.

Is there a type of test, or fitness test you need to complete? (I am slightly overweight and want to know if I should start getting into better shape)

Yes, the test is a joke though. The females had to do 2 pushups (no time limit), 5 sit ups (no time limit) and run a 1/2 mile in 6 minutes. If you are overweight I would suggest getting into good physical shape because I see how hard it was for some of the overweight people in my academy class. Two dropped out because they couldn't handle the physical training because they were overweight. It's not like the Marines or anything, but it's not a walk in the park either. It will be so much easier if you are in decent shape.

If there's something about your job I should be warned about, what would it be? (I am female)

Be prepared to be called every name in the book. You will be amazed at how much easier the job is once you learn to let stuff roll off your back. PM me if you have any more questions!

What the heck is a BA in Homeland Security and Strategic Intelligence? What kind of courses would something like that have? Is it pretty much Political Science?

Federal emergency system management like NIMS and FEMA's SOPs. Political relations with countries we're spying on and treaty obligations, so on and so forth.

To add to Greyavenger's question What is the strangest thing you have found a prisoner hiding/smuggling.

A monstrously huge dildo made from cloth, a pringles can, and newspapers.

ummm this is the time when you tell us its a joke right? that just sounds awful and im a dude

I wish it was a joke. It still haunts me in my dreams.

Is your prison privately or publicly funded?

We are publicly funded, and I'm reminded of that every time I get my paycheck :C lol

You stated your prison is maximum security; do you have any prisoners on death row? Also, what are your veiws on the death penalty? Thanks, from Canada.

We have a handful on death row, about 50. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Morally, I'm ok with it. Financially, I'm not so sure. People think that it's so much cheaper just to kill someone instead of keep them for life. If you incur court costs and time, it's astronomically more expensive. There are many mandatory court steps and time when it comes to death row cases.

What is the food like?

It's nothing like Shawshank Redemption quality (finding maggots in the food if you didn't get that reference) but it's no gourmet. The staff get free meals during our shifts, made by the inmates and it's the same food they eat. And before you say it, I know. It seems like a terrible idea to have them serve us our food but I'm always polite and courteous and I watch them make it just in case so I don't think they do anything to it.

Has working at a women's prison affected your views on women?

It did for a little while to be honest. All of those women are needy, whiny, and hard to deal with. It's literally like babysitting toddlers sometimes. Then I had to make a conscious effort to realize that most women aren't that bad.

Oh my god. Having worked in men's prisons, they're the same. Inmates are all whiny, immature, and generally act like teenagers. It's like high school, except the teachers have guns and body armor.

And you send them to their rooms if they're bad, you tell them what to eat, you take away their privileges if they're bad...it's literally like babysitting isn't it?

I appreciate your honesty, and that you managed to overcome those feelings. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work at a men's prison in comparison? Thanks for the AMA :)

Oh sure. I think men's prison would be easier all around, but I don't want to be strip searching dudes all day (I can't strip search female offenders). You're welcome!

How big of an issue is smuggling at your prison? ex. Drugs, weapons, cigarettes, ect.

What is the worst thing you caught someone smuggle into prisons?

Why did you decide to work in a female prison instead of a male prison.

Do you like your job as a guard?

Has someone ever tried to escape? (not sure if this violates rule 3, but if it does please say so, if not I will be interested to know)

Do you watch Breaking Bad?

How big of an issue is smuggling at your prison? ex. Drugs, weapons, cigarettes, ect.

It's honestly not as bad as one would think. There are almost 0 drugs that get into the prison (that we know about), it's mainly beauty products if you can believe that. We did have an offender's boyfriend try and bring her a shank made out of a sharpened steel rod. He wrapped it in 4 condoms and stuck it where the sun don't shine. He went over to the vending machine in the visitor room and squeezed between it and the wall to try and maneuver it out of his butthole out of sight from the officer so he could drop it but the officer caught him. I believe that attempting to introduce contraband to a prison facility is a class 5 felony in my state.

What is the worst thing you caught someone smuggle into prisons?

That shank. I wish that I could give you a cooler answer but that's really it. We don't have a huge problem with smuggling.

Why did you decide to work in a female prison instead of a male prison.

I decided that because it was very close to the area I was going to move to and I thought it would be easier than a male prison. I was wrong.

Do you like your job as a guard?

I personally don't mind it. Cliche, but it has its ups and downs. I feel like I'm doing some good and it's a very good job to develop solid character traits. I have learned how to efficiently hold my tongue, be strictly objective, and have rock-solid integrity. I've learned how to let things slide right off my back as well. You name an insult, I've been called it. It doesn't bother me one bit because I can't let it bother me.

Has someone ever tried to escape? (not sure if this violates rule 3, but if it does please say so, if not I will be interested to know)

I can tell you that, sure. We have only had 1 offender try to escape (Prison has been open for 12 years) and she was mentally ill. She ran and tried to climb the fence but she was quickly spotted and apprehended.

Do you watch Breaking Bad?

Yes. I'm giving it two more episodes to see if it gets any better.

have you ever been assaulted or attacked in any way?

No. I try to be respectful and that goes a long way in the prison. Most of the officers who have been attacked had it coming because they were treating the offenders who attacked them like animals.

How often do you search inmate's cells? whats the most creative hiding place for contraband that you have found?

We randomly toss cells a few times a week, and we do more if we have probable cause to do so (we don't need probable cause to search a cell but we won't do it unnecessarily because it's very time consuming). The most creative place I personally have found is a false bottom in styrofoam cup concealing a razor. I looked in the cup and the bottom seemed too round so I held it up against the light and saw the razor. I also heard of an offender putting a sewing needle in the cardboard back of a small notebook. She worked it from the top and wedged it in between the two pieces of cardboard.

Are there Neo-Nazi gangs in female prisons too?

We have gang members, but no white-supremacists that I know of.

How's the inmate food? Would you eat it voluntarily? What about if you had to pay, how much would you give for it?

What are the other guards like? Do they conform to the accented violent redneck we all expect?

How is it being in a maximum security instead of medium or minimum?

What do you actually do to "guard" the prisoners?

How's the inmate food?

It's no gourmet, that's for sure.

What about if you had to pay, how much would you give for it?

I would actually pay to not eat it.

What are the other guards like? Do they conform to the accented violent redneck we all expect?

Oh, yes. Some of them are that stereotypical overweight redneck with a big bushy mustache that you picture. That's not to say that they're stupid, lazy, and untrustworthy. Some of them are, but most are decent hard working people.

How is it being in a maximum security instead of medium or minimum?

I really don't have anything to compare it to since I've only worked in a max security facility, but it's not as dangerous as you think when you first hear "max security prison". In my state, there are 6 levels of prison. We are level 3, as max security for women is only 3. We take the worst of the worst but we manage them very well. Every movement and operation is carefully coordinated and supervised. At a level 6 men's facility, they stay in their cell all day and are not allowed to have any human contact besides when they shower. Their attorney visits are done via video call programs (like Skype) and they get no rec time.

What do you actually do to "guard" the prisoners?

The simplest way I can define "guarding" offenders is we make sure that they aren't harming us, themselves, or others.

Do you have any transgender inmates? Either female to male (born with a vagina and such but with mentally male) or male to female (born with a penis but mentally female). If so, do they have their own cell? How are they treated by the other prisoners, and how are they treated by the other guards?

We don't but if we do have that, we categorize them based on their genitalia. They don't get treated any differently.

Do you have to conduct strip searches in there? If so, when are they typically done?

Being a male, I am not allowed to do that (and I'm glad I don't have to). However, offenders are strip searched every time they re-enter the facility from being outside (doing trash pickup, hospital trip, funeral, etc), every time they return from visitation, and if there is probable cause to strip search them at any time, we can.

Interesting. Inmates can leave for funerals? What criteria must the funeral meet? Is it just immediate family, or can an inmate attend a funeral for say, a cousin? What kind of measures are taken to ensure they don't bolt?

Scratch that, I forgot they can't go to funerals anymore. One time an officer had to draw his weapon because the family of the offender didn't want to let her go so the regional director disallowed funerals.

I know that your prison is a max security and that it should make things a lot different, but do you think that Orange Is The New Black is a reliable "impressionation" of a female prison?

Dude...no. I can't enjoy that show because of how dramatized and ridiculous the elements of that show are.

Whats your perspective on the Netfilx's critically acclaimed show "Orange is the New Black?" Do you see a lot of the character archetypes with the women inside the prison? How do you feel about prison guards and the way they take advantage of the women in the show. How does the prison system ensure guards are taking proper care for the inmates and not taking advantage of their power?

Whats your perspective on the Netfilx's critically acclaimed show "Orange is the New Black?"

I'll just start this off by saying that I've only watched one and a half episodes of that show so I don't know a TON about it.

Do you see a lot of the character archetypes with the women inside the prison?

There are definitely a lot of women like Piper on the show, they're kind of sweet and "innocent" and are just trying to do their time quietly and get out. You do have your leaders and your followers. It's like the same on the outside, except everything is amplified. Leaders are ruthless dictators (as much as we allow them to be) and followers are submissive brown-nosers that will do anything for their leader.

How do you feel about prison guards and the way they take advantage of the women in the show.

I haven't gotten that far in the show but I can say that there is a strict 0 tolerance policy for that kind of thing. If you're referring to sex/sexual abuse, yes it does happen in real life but those instances are relatively few and far between. Often times it's not just about sex, the officers want relationships with the offenders. One time we had an officer sneak in a watch that had a walkie-talkie built into it and gave it to the offender he was in love with. On his nights off he'd quietly pull into the parking lot so he was in range and talk to her on his walkie talkie.

How does the prison system ensure guards are taking proper care for the inmates and not taking advantage of their power?

There are cameras almost EVERYWHERE so if there was ever a question about something that happened, 9/10 times we could go back and review the footage. There are virtually 0 places that you could be alone with an offender, every room has windows and there is a supervisor in every building and every area of the prison at all times that watch everything like a hawk because if something happens on their watch, they go down for it.

What is one of the strangest things you have seen happen?

A monstrosity of a dildo made out of cloth, newspaper, and a pringles can that we found tossing a cell.

Are there any "hot" prisoners ?

There are some attractive ones I will admit. But it's a 100:1 ratio.

Are prisoners strictly given a certain type of tampon (ie pads or digital tampons)

We give them pads.

Top five movies??

1. American Gangster
2. Shawshank Redemption
3. American History X
4. Jurassic Park
5. Saving Private Ryan

I love how Shawshank is on there!

I liked it even before I knew I was going to be a prison guard!

How accurate is "Orange is the new black? "?

On that show, it is a prison and it houses females. The similarities stop there.

Are there really any of the factions you see in (male) prison tv shows? The Nazis, the Blacks, the Rockers etc...

We have a gaggle of gang members, but nothing prominent.

Is it true that large populations of women who live together eventually synchronize their periods? I figured you might know.

If they do, does your facility do anything differently the week the entire prison is menstruating?

Yes, girls typically sync up on their cycles but they're constantly being moved from building to building to building for various reasons so you don't have entire buildings all on their periods at once. If they ask for pads (we don't give tampons) we are legally required to give them some (it's not like we wouldn't anyways). We have a giant box of them that we just set down in the middle of the room and let them take a few each and there's a special garbage can they go in.

As I mentioned before, you don't have a ton of girls on their period at once so there's no reason to do anything different. Even if that was the case I don't think we could legally do anything "different" just because they were on their cycle.

Why no tampons?

Too expensive.

Hi, thanks for doing this AMA!

I have a couple questions, first, my church is doing an outreach to a womens prison nearby, and I'm wondering if I should get involved. Would any of the women even care if someone showed up to talk about God? Or should I not bother?

Second, how similar is orange is the new black to prison life?

Oh yes! They don't call it "jailhouse religion" for nothing. Many of our offenders are devoutly religious, mostly Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. We have a smattering of other religions too, we have a woman from Africa that practices some sort of tribal religion and another from Haiti who practices VooDoo.

Are sense offenders taken in for processing and executed by summary combustion?

What?

Do they actually clean everything with maxi-pads?

No.

I just have to ask.. have you ever jerked off while thinking about an inmate?

No.

A friend of mine could go to a women's jail, and I want to know, do awful things as rape actually go on here? I think it's quite awful if it even happens or if anyone there let's it happen. I'd kill someone if anyone hurt her there. Do you make sure everyone in the jail is safe as far as you can to your extent?

do awful things as rape actually go on here?

Unfortunately, yes they do. The big butchy offenders who run the show as far as offender culture goes have all the control and if we don't keep a close eye out, they have a tendency to try and solicit sexual favors or outright rape the more vulnerable offenders. One girl was sodomized with a broom handle because one of the ladies thought that this girl was giving her the wrong look in the chow hall earlier that day.

Do you make sure everyone in the jail is safe as far as you can to your extent?

Yes we do. We are VERY careful about watching over the offenders. We have rounds every 30 minutes (but we try and stagger them so they don't know when we're coming) and keep a close eye out for any instances of abuse. The offenders can dial #55 on their pod phone to anonymously report instances of sexual abuse, and they are encouraged to come forward if something does happen.

Have you lied in any answer in this AMA (given that you can't say somethings given your job)?

I have not. I did change the names of the offenders in one answer, but I think that everyone knew that they were not the real names.

Is it true you cut up hotdogs so women cant sneak them back as sex toys?

No.

Are the female inmates ever allowed to leave the prison? For visits or work or anything like that

Visitation happens inside the facility, and yes some are allowed to leave and mow the lawn and pick up trash. Obviously they are closely monitored and wear belts with locks on them that have built in tasers that can be remotely activated if they take off running.

if you could go back in time, would you stop yourself from applying at the prison and choosing another career path?

I am a fairly recent college grad and am pretty young, this job is just a stepping stone and I don't plan on being here for too much longer. I know that I couldn't do this job for forever but it has been a great way to get my foot in the door so I would say that I would not choose differently if given the opportunity.

What career path are you thinking of? Since you say it's been a great way to get your foot in the door, are you thinking of moving up the ranks in the prison system?

I eventually want to be a U.S. Marshal. My plan right now is to put in a year or two at this prison, transfer to a federal prison (I have a few federal contacts and they have all told me that federal prisons are always hurting for staff) from which I can have a 1000% better chance of transferring into the Marshals as opposed to trying to break directly into the Marshals from the outside.

Good luck. My brother is a Marshal and absolutely loves the job.

What path did he take to get there?

This may be verified but it sounds like bullshit. I worked in a prison for 9 years and none of these answers sound like they come from someone who has worked inside. The first and biggest give away is no one who works in prison calls themselves a "guard". They use correctional officer. Here's my proof. http://i.imgur.com/SGIN24x.jpg

I'm not a federal corrections officer, I'm state. Give me a few mins and I'll give you some proof.

Here's the Proof, I had to heavily edit this of course. The mods received an uncensored photo of me holding this ID and a timestamp. I don't know what more you want. Also, "anonymouscorrectionsofficer" and "anonymousCO" were taken as usernames.

How fair is the representation of orange is the new black (netflix series) of women prison?

The only similarity between that show and a real woman's prison is that we both are prisons and house women. That is pretty much where the similarities end.

Have you ever wanted to have sex with an inmate?

No.

Thank you for limiting our options to only the most mundane questions.

• Are you a desk jockey?
• Do you pay for your uniforms and all required gear?
• Do you carry a sidearm?
• What boot size do you wear?
• Since all IAmA's require proof and you refuse to provide it; Why didn't you post this to /r/casualiama?

I'll go ahead and reply to the questions that actually have to do with my job even though they were asked in a sarcastic manner.

Are you a desk jockey?

For half of a shift, yes. In each housing unit we have a control center that controls the 3 pods. There are 2 officers assigned to a building and we work 12 hour shifts so for 6 hours one officer works the control center (which can get extremely hectic) and one officer works the floor, then we switch.

Do you pay for your uniforms and all required gear?

No, the state pays for everything.

Do you carry a sidearm?

On transportation runs, yes. I carry a 9MM Glock and if it's a death row inmate I carry the Glock as well as the AR-15. My state does not allow us to carry weapons on the inside, not even tasers, mace, or a baton.

I saw your other comment before you changed it.

Trust me, I would love to tell everyone everything about my work environment and all the details but unfortunately I just can't for safety reasons. I definitely see your point though and if this doesn't generate any worthwhile discussion I will probably take it to /r/casualiama.

EDIT: I did submit proof to the mods. Proof of that.

What is the purpose of doing an AmA if we're not allowed to ask you questions related to the very purpose of the AmA. It's pointless.

Ok then. I should have made it AskMeAlmostAnything.